Buford Twain is On the Move !

Gentle reader,

I am moving... Scarpering... Skedaddling...!!

Normal service will be resumed at:

http://bufordtwain.blogspot.com

Hope to see you there!

Your friend,

Buford Twain

Step by Step Religion Detox Program

Gentle reader,

Here is a simple step by step program that you can use today to rid yourself of religion:

1) Read Carl Sagan, on belief in the absence of proof, "the dragon in my garage" argument - http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/Dragon.htm

2) Read "Why Does God Hate Amputees?" - http://www.whydoesgodhateamputees.com/god5.htm

3) Read "Letter to a Christian Nation" by Sam Harris (a book, available from amazon)

4) Make like Winnie the Pooh and think...think...think

5) If still in doubt, take a walk, then go back to step 4

6) If *still* in doubt, read "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins (available from amazon.com)

7) If cured, CONGRATULATIONS! Please leave a post and tell me all about it.

8) If not, please leave a post and tell me why not.

Today's quote?

There are 100,000,000,000 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.
-Richard Feynman

Your friend,

Buford Twain

PS - If you have suggestions for additional steps (e.g. something that worked for you) please let me know.

A Teenager Trapped in a Middle-aged Body

Gentle reader,

When I look in the mirror, I see a middle-aged man staring back at me. When someone takes a picture of me, sometimes I hardly recognize the person in the picture. How did I get to be this old? Inside, I do not feel old at all. I feel the same as when I was 20 years younger (I am 40).

I still enjoy listening to the same music that I did when I was much younger. For example, The Clash and The Kinks. I also like the newer genres like Rap and Hip-Hop. I think that latest song by Gnarls Barkley is pretty good actually. I still have the same (immature, some would say) sense of humour. I still have the same love for life, and the desire to travel and see new places that I have always had.

I look around me and I see lots of "grown-ups" who seem to have changed over the years. They have become dull, boring, in a word, "old".

Why hasn't that happened to me?

Many years ago, I worked as a barman in a South London pub ("Sarf Landan" as they say there). In that pub, on a Sunday night, a very old man named Albert used to come in every Sunday with his friends and family. We used to play loud music on the juke box and sometimes they had a live band in. Albert would dance around like a nut-job, on his own, having the time of his life. Some people looked at him with sympathy, thinking he was a bit daft in the head. But he knew what he was doing and I admired him for it. One night Albert said to me, "You have to enjoy yourself. You go through life, and one day you wake up, and you're old." Those words ring true for me today, even more so than they did back then.

Getting older (mentally, at least) seems to be a phenomenon that doesn't apply to all people. And that makes me very happy.

And for today's quote, how about this:

If the world didn't suck we would all fall off.
-Unknown

Until the next time I remain, as always,

Your friend,

Buford Twain

USA and UK - Compare and Contrast

Gentle Reader,

I thought I would write down some things I had noticed about living in the UK and USA.

Here are some of the reasons I left the UK:

* Different rules for different people - the worst case being the royal family and privileges awarded by virtue of birth
* Constant grey skies
* The feeling that "nothing is possible"
* Felt very crowded, especially London, where I used to live
* People seem mostly pessimistic ("mopey"), they spend a lot of time complaining, with not much "get up and go"
* I sometimes felt unsafe. I was mugged a few times.
* I was awarded a scholarship for study in the US that at the time paid about the same as my full-time working salary in the UK

Here are some reasons I am glad I live in the USA:

* The feeling that "anything is possible"
* I can afford a reasonably sized house and back yard (I have a pasture for horses and a pond that has fish for fishing and a pool)
* The weather is usually interesting (lots of snow in winter, lots of sun in summer, storms in-between)
* Easier to find an interesting job (I work in information technology)
* Americans like the British (it's the accent thing)
* The women are more attractive (!) I never thought I'd be so chauvenistic. But there you go.
* People are generally very optimistic. They get things done and have a "can do" attitude.
* America helped to liberate Europe during WW2. Americans landed on Omaha beach, jumping directly into the sea and into brutal and relentless machine gun fire.
* I feel more independent, less "babied" than in the UK
* Us seems less bureaucratic, less intrusive into my life
* US seems to be more of a meritocracy - less emphasis on "pay scales", most jobs pay based on experience and aptitude.
* No annoying UK public school accent (in the UK, public school really means "private school", don't ask me why)
* Lots of wide open spaces

Here are some of the reasons I sometimes wish I were back in the UK:

* I have many UK-based friends - for some reason I found it much easier to make friends in the UK
* Weather is always mild
* Food is better in the UK (at least, you don't have to work quite as hard to get good food).
* UK has "reasonable" public transportation (trains, buses)
* You can often get to most places just by walking, USA is too focused on use of the car
* Healthcare for all, as opposed to healthcare tied to your job
* Better (different?) sense of humor. People are "quirkier"/funnier.
* More vacation days! The USA is pitiful in terms of vacation days (unless you work for the federal government, interestingly)
* More of a safety net if you lose your job
* Seems like the education system may be better (I have been gone a while though and it could have deteriorated by now).
* Geographically closer to the relatives on my side of the family who live in England and France.
* Pubs!
* No George Bush
* Far fewer religious fundamentalists, far more atheists and free-thinkers

Here are some of the reasons I may never return to the UK:
* We wouldn't be able to have horses any more, or a pool... materialistic, I know, but...
* Cost of housing has increased too much
* Constant grey skies, feeling that "nothing is possible", crowds, the feeling that I am unsafe...

Before I get too misty-eyed, here is the quote for today:

History continues even though the graveyard is full of indispensable leaders.
-Charles De Gaulle

And until the next time, gentle reader, I remain as always,

Your friend,

Buford Twain

On Choice of Programming Language

Gentle Reader,

Are there any computer programmers out there?

If so, here is a very simple suggestion for when to use a statically typed language (e.g. Java) versus a dynamically typed language (e.g. Python):

Use a dynamically typed language (e.g. Python) for small programs (up to one or two thousand lines of code).
Use a statically typed language (e.g. Java) for large projects (many thousands of lines of code.

The main reason that I do this myself is that I find myself getting "sloppy" when using a dynamically typed language. That is OK (though not ideal, I admit) for a small program. It spells death for a large program.

If I am using Java, I take far more time to think about the design. Coding moves slowly, allowing my brain some time to catch up with my hands.
If I am using Python, I tend to be coding for speed, not precision. I take shortcuts that lead to a quicker, though less well polished, program.

An analogy would be playing jazz versus playing a classical piece. On one hand, you are extemporizing, having fun and not strictly following rules. On the other hand, you are playing every note as the composer intended.

The analogy extends to the post-code-writing phase as well. How do you reproduce a jazz piece
that is not written down? Similarly, dynamically type code can be harder to read, even for the original author.

Jazz lends itself to short pieces. The classical form lends itself to long pieces.

And that brings us to the quote for today:

Although we, the French, love the United States, our respect and
admiration are not based on gastronomy nor on nutrition.
-Michel Montignac

And until the next time, I remain,

Your friend,

Buford Twain

Don't forget the possibility that you may die BEFORE you retire

Gentle Reader,

This is contrary to most of the popular advice out there that says you should save as much as possible for retirement.

The fact is that a good number of people won't make it, or will die shortly after they retire.

How many? What are your odds? Good questions. I can tell you this. I am 40 years old and of the 12 people who stood up at our wedding, 2 are already dead (both from car accidents).

That is a one in six chance. We have been more unlucky than most. However, I can also tell you this: over 40,000 Americans are going to die this year from car accidents.

Money and success only go so far, and not very far at all when you are in a pine box six feet underground.

When you reach 40, your odds of dying each year are somewhere around 1 in 1000, I believe.
So over a period of 20 years, assuming that the odds don't go up, you have a 1 in 50 chance of dying between the ages of 40 and 60.

My faulty math means that your odds are probably more like 1 in 25 because the older you get the more likely you are to die in any given year.

"Buford, you old fool, what is your point?" you are probably asking by now, and I apologize for being long-winded.

My friends, my point is this: You had damn well make the most of your life and enjoy it while you have it. Or, as I am told the Bulgarians say, "You better wear your new clothes".

Sure, put some money away for retirement. More importantly, perhaps, make sure you have 6 months or more of expenses put away in case you lose your job.

However, I advise against putting EVERYTHING away for retirement. The sad fact is, many of us just won't make it that far. Which brings us to today's quote:

"Life moves fast. If you don't take the time to look around once in a while, you might just miss it."
-Ferris Bueller

On that note, I will end this entry, but rest assured that I remain,

Your friend,

Buford Twain

Deodorant Usage - Weird and Harmful?

Gentle Reader,

A quick thought for today:

"Why do we use deodorant and what is it about humans that make us the only species to use it?"

I know what you are thinking: "we use it 'cause otherwise we'd be stinky!" and of course that is true. However, humans seem to be the only species (at least that I know of) that actively tries to cover up its body scent. This is a little weird, don't you think? Also, isn't covering one's armpits with chemicals a little risky? At a minimum, you are absorbing chemicals into your body that really shouldn't be there.

And now for today's quote:

The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.
-Kurt Vonnegut

By the way, if you have never read anything by Vonnegut you should give him a whirl. If you are interested in history, try "Slaughterhouse Five" which is a true story of the almost total annihiliation of the German city of Dresden by British and American forces towards the end of World War 2. If you think you are having a bad day, spare a thought for the residents of Dresden.

Until the next installment I remain,

Your Friend,

Buford Twain